


Give Me Life Like Lots Of Oxygen

by arcticmalum



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Luke has cancer, M/M, and ashton's just alright, calum's blind, it gets very inappropriate very fast, michael has leukemia, muke au, side cashton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-02 11:14:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10216742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcticmalum/pseuds/arcticmalum
Summary: Where Luke's pushing through the bitch he calls lung cancer, and Michael has leukemia.orTwo boys skip their group therapy and accidentally become the treatment they both needed.





	1. Having Doubts and New Hideouts

**Author's Note:**

> a new au i'm starting yay! this title is from Let It Out by Ed Sheeran, enjoy pals!

Seventeen percent. The number stared at him like a mocking deer in the headlights, giving him the suddenly short supply of air in the room to inhale as sharply as he had felt the urgency to. It was so foolish, almost laughing at him through the screen, seventeen out of one hundred. Those were his chances of living in the next five years.

"It's gonna be okay." A hand, not even close to comforting, fell upon his shoulder. He felt dirty and claustrophobic, as if the world just trampled him in every disgusting thing possible whether dirt or mud he didn't care because his eyes only pricked with helpless tears and shrugged that doctor's hand off of him. They're lying. That's what hurts more than his dying lungs that struggle to work correctly.

Sniffles were heard to his right and he instantly knew it was his mother who was tearing up yet again, she gets emotional at everything nowadays. Ever since his diagnosis ten months ago she never really stopped her sensitive mood swings. She can elaborate on how good her day was after work but by the time she's shuffling down the halls of their house for bed he'll hear her incessant murmurs of how sad this whole ordeal at home is getting. The cyber school, the constant need to check up on him, she did it all but never really vented to her own son. It was always his father who she'd fall to when her problems made themselves more vivid.

The house's walls are thinner than Luke must remember now, those dreadful nights of his mum crying in the room next door always felt so much louder than most, her tissues at the ready and perched on her nightstand, a trash bin at the side of her bed where she disposes them while her husband soothes her or on the worse days, cries with her. Luke's only bound to shove that despair and guilt deep down, shielding any of that shame with a sad grin the next morning when they both come ambling in with his breakfast. 

"Then again, no two patients are entirely alike, responses to treatment can vary greatly." His doctor drew him back into the present, his pale and sickly face rising up and reflecting blindly off of the entirely too bright UV lights in the hospital room, his cheeks dusted with barely noticeable freckles. They were more prominent when he actually went in the sun, he can't remember the last day he stayed outside for more than two hours. Those soft stars on his nose and cheeks seemed to have effaced over the past eight months. The helplessness swimming in his glossy eyes had the doctor, a much tanner man with stubble and deep brown eyes, averting from the patient almost instantly.

He turned to his mother for any sign of them knowing what to say to that, he feels too nauseous to speak. Thinking that if he even tried to say a word he'd throw up instead.

His mother's cheek fell to her husbands chest clad in a button down, only crying harder at how devastated her own son was staring at her. Hoping she could help but she had nothing to give at this point. No I love you or warm motherly hug could cure his heartbroken looks, not anymore.

So, Luke's father spoke instead, having to clear his throat before doing so since he too was choking a bit. "We've tried so much already, what else can we do?" The term _we_ made Luke's sad blue eyes fall to his lap. It's not them doing anything. It's always him. He's the one going through radiation therapy and chemo, nothing's making a difference for him or the illness that's getting worse. They tried to get him to go through a lobectomy- some life-risking surgery to get rid of one of three lobes in a diseased lung, but he wasn't in good enough shape physically to follow through and he's stuck trying his best to get better so that can be an option.

"We do have the option of an oxygen cannula. The price would be a bit over five hundred dollars." Luke already knew about that dreadfully pathetic oxygen tank, the ones you see dying cripples use- he's a cripple too, he can say that. Each time he's offered this he tries to decline, but now he's desperate for anything to work.

He gave a slow, subtle nod. His father chewed on the inside of his cheek, pursed his lips, then huffed. "We'll try it." Luke's mother gave a nod in agreement, shoving a tissue to her nose and then attempting to smudge the tears off of her cheeks afterwords.

The doctor flipped through Luke's portfolio and records and checked a box on one of the sheets, then whirled to the door, "Excellent. I'll see if we can cut any costs with insurance or such, maybe we can get him hooked up and using the device today!" He's so enthusiastic Luke's blue eyes shut to cringe. He's over here struggling to breathe right and his doctors as happy as a wave that dances on the sea.

His parents filed outside to discuss any of the costs with his faithful doctor leaving him alone with a laptop and his dark thoughts. He stared at the glowing screen, it's opened onto a picture of small stick figures all neatly stacked in rows of ten by ten, seventeen of those stick figures were light blue as the other eighty three stayed a bold red to signify those who die. The words _Survival Rate In Lung Cancer Patients (5 Year Span)_ made him sick to his stomach again. His finger bounced on the mouse pad and exited the tab only to create a new one.

Relieved, he sighed.

Looking at a blank google screen was so much calmer than looking at his death wish out in the open. He knows he should look at it and think maybe if he gathers enough strength, or becomes drastically more positive, he'll be one of those seventeen blue stick figures that get to happily live while skipping off into the sunset with friends and family.

He shook his head at his nonsense thoughts, he'd never have that luck. He's already had enough omens bestowed upon him with the first being this asshole of a lung that decided to cease work and leave him to be eternally fucked. The next terrible mistake in his life was his failed surgeries that rarely even helped, he's dying so fast that barely any treatments are doing any good. Now he's getting a pity tank that breathes for him. Great.

His bottom lip got sucked between his teeth before slamming the computer shut and sliding it off his lap and onto the table beside his hospital bed he's sitting in for the day and has been for the two days prior.

The door clicked open and the familiar shuffle of his mum's heavy sandal clad feet made their way to his side, her tears slowing down as she only sniffles now and her one hand clutched a crumpled tissue as the other reached forward and fell to her son's. Luke's hands bony and chilled to the touch as she ran a warm pad of her thumb across it, "You can get through this, baby." She was trying to be happy and hopeful for the both of them but in the sad reality of things, neither of them felt that way, that's why Luke only flickered his eyes up to that burning light above him and slumped.

"I don't think I can anymore." He finally let his hoarse voice crack out some form of words that were nowhere near what his mother wanted to hear. His hand clutched hers as tight as he could but his muscles are weak so it felt like a light squeeze. She sniffled and gave a sad smile, "I believe in you, try for me, alright?" As if he hasn't been doing that already.

"You still have a wish." She referenced to the _Make A Wish_ foundation that gave him one free pass for anything his heart desires, a cruise trip, a cliche adventure in disney world, the worlds way of a final hoorah before they pass, really. He had no extraordinary needs or passions to pursue, no bucket list to complete, he's just kind of riding this wave out until it slowly dies down.

Luke shrugged, not sure what to say so he opted for a simple "I know." that sufficed.

His mum grew impatient, "Doctor Wilson was just explaining how there's a new group therapy meeting somewhere around town, a bunch of teens are there too, they're also, um,"

"Dying?" He implied the last word, her scornful stare and stern look making him raise his eyebrows. He's not wrong, she knows.

Still, his mum corrected him. "Struggling through illnesses- there's someone blind, a girl has breast cancer, even a boy with leukemia joined. It'd be great, it sounds fun, right?"

"Yeah." He lied through his teeth, pulling a fake smile and tracing the wrinkles in the blue hospital sheets.

"Would you be interested in joining?"

 _No._ "Sure."

He said he'd try harder for her, he'll do it if it means she thinks he's getting a bit more social and active in the community again.

Four strenuous hours later and he was stood in the receptionist area of the general hospital, his one hand tapping a random rhythm onto the work lady's desk as the other clutched his new oxygen tank set up with a full battery, two tubes hooking behind his ears and scooping down to his nose so it could supply him with any necessary air that he needs. A family of four sat in the waiting chairs, a little girl staring in utter fascination at his new device as she kicked her dangling legs in the plastic chair and incessantly let her hand point at him, calling for her mum to look at him.

He felt embarrassed and only gazed at the floor while the mother of the kid finally saw what her daughter was doing and quickly slapped her arm to her side in a scornful manner and gave one of the most aggravated looks to the father of the group who let her do that.

"Just because he has the machine for assistance to boost his breathing a bit, it still doesn't give him a free pass to do a lot of running. Luke's gonna be out of breath _as usual._ " Doctor Wilson laughed, the blonde gave an eye roll, his doctor can fuck himself. It's not like it's his fault to get tired so easily, he once had to help put old decorations up into the attic and by the third box he was heaving at the top of the ladder trying not to black out.

"The group therapy meets on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, the address is on the paper and if you have any other questions call the number on the front." He circled the support group's number in red pen and handed the white paper over to the family. "Other than that, his next visit here is in three months and you're free to go." A white paper bag with the hospitals logo was passed over the counter and Luke already knew he got more pills and such for this wretched condition he's stuck with.

On the way out he made eye contact with the family of four, the mother scooting her daughter's chair closer to her own as if he was contagious. He snarled at the mum and left at that, a pain in his ribs and a tube to help him breathe.

Monday couldn't have crept up faster than he'd prefer, this disastrous idea of a support group was the last thing he wanted. Even his mum could see it in his eyes at breakfast, the blonde's chin resting in his hand as he stabbed at his scrambled eggs with an utmost unamused look on his tired face. Sleeping isn't very easy when his lungs aren't very stable.

Bringing some bacon to the table his mum smiled, "Are you excited?" One of her favorite things to do was ask him how he feels about anything.

The boy gave a sarcastic response, a stoic look of despair on his face as he stabbed some eggs onto his fork. "Overjoyed." Luke spoke through a straight face and shoved some food into his mouth.

Now his dad treaded into the room, business clothes on as he tied his grey tie around his neck and gave Luke's mum a soft peck on her cheek. "C'mon, bud, it won't be that bad. Who knows, maybe you'll make friends." The room fell quiet.

Luke doesn't necessarily have friends. Not that he's begging for them, he just feels pity for the poor teens who have to hang out with his diseased heart. All he does is throw his pain onto them and maybe he tells a good joke every week or so. The day he found out he had lung cancer he was at school and never even said anything to his friends at the time when he ended his day at the nurse, he deleted their numbers and kept his distance when he got home after two weeks in a hospital. Avoiding them was easy when all he does is stay in his house every second of every day. Somehow the word spread (he's ninety nine percent sure his cousin told their friends and they told theirs, et cetera) and his school found out and he still refuses to go back in public around his hometown, anywhere near his school is off his list.

"Yeah, let's make friends with people who are just gonna die within months!" He hoorayed sarcastically, his parents scolding him for his apathy. They don't like his sense of dry humor, apparently joking about his own death isn't their favorite topic of discussion. One time at Christmas dinner with the whole family he said he was thankful he made it through another month, 'cause damn his lungs really fucked him sideways. No one laughed.

"That whole room is just going to be a sad circle of charity cases waiting to die out."

"Luke!" His mother scolded, her hand falling upon her heart in shock. He only stood from the table and headed for the door, "Just drive me there so we can get this over with already."

The car ride was devastatingly silent, his head gazed out the window as they drove down the serene neighborhood they live in. One of those suburbs you'd see straight out of a Disney movie with picket fences and two story houses each with family pets and kids.

The radio hummed a pop song at low volume and they slowly made their way past his old school, the lengthy white building that panned out down the street, it's outdoor soccer field in tow as he only slouched lower seeing the team conditioning out there. His head turned the other way just in case anyone could possibly see him.

"How's the cannula?" A bit hesitant, Liz, Luke's mother, referenced to the tube connecting to his tank and his nose. The blonde poked at it, it's irritating if he's being honest, it makes him feel itchy around his nose all the time and the tubes are agitating when he's getting undressed or dressed. This cannula is still helpful though, it gives his shitty lungs a break and he can breathe a bit clearly now instead of sharp, wheezy breaths.

"Fine." He settled on his usual answer to anything at the same time she slowed down at a stop sign, only to drive towards his local outlets, past a supermarket, and then finally,  bringing Luke to a library, the tall brick building with an estimate of three floors which just by the thought, made him sweaty and out of breath.

"You go to the second floor, don't worry." It's like his mum could read his mind, petting the back of his head and giving a soft kiss to his cold cheek. "I'll pick you up in two hours, okay?" Two hours? One hundred and twenty minutes surrounded by people who are on the verge of dying? What if he witnesses someone die right before his eyes? His hand clutched the door handle nevertheless, sucking in a hearty breath and gave his lungs a wake up call.

"Love you." He murmured at the same time he exited the car with the least bit of gracefulness, his legs nearly tripping over his oxygen tank as he pulled the retractable handle out and clutched it with all his strength and willed his feet to move towards the dreaded lifeless library that looked the least bit promising.

"Love you, sweetie, have fun!" His mum's peppy yell and encouraging words made him instinctively duck his head down and tread a bit faster, well, as fast as his body can manage. His eyes caught sight of the door and felt relief flood through him, the air conditioning hitting him in a flash as he entered the crisp room potent with that new book smell he barely remembered. His hand ran across the side of a shelf and skimmed his fingertips over the spines of the various laminated books, eyes searching for the staircase as he made eye contact with the librarian, a ginger woman all stout and poised in her chair as she gave one glance and knew exactly why he was here, nodding subtly towards the right to show him the stairs.

His lips formed a small grin as a wordless thank you and kept his steady slow pace over to the wooden stairs that were occupied by two boys, one with unruly brown curls hidden inside a grey beanie while shades shielded his eyes. The other was a few inches shorter with his beach tan and dirty blonde waves tucked behind his ears, popping hazel eyes that glimmered when he looked at the one towering above him. The other boy kept a hand in the shorter one's blond curls and ran his thumb over their cheek as they exchanged chaste kisses.

A mental note was made that Luke should try to discretely make his way past those two in order to not interrupt but it was too late when his foot bumped against the first step and nervously glowered at his biggest enemy- stairs. Ever since his cancer made itself known he had struggled with going up any form of stairs. Elevators were his favorite thing but this damn library is so old and cramped it can't even be renovated to make room for one.

The hazel eyed boy caught sight of Luke and his smile faltered, turning to the brown skinned boy he's with, "Baby, move, someone needs to get through. We have to go anyways." He let his arm lock with the other's, the blonde furrowing his eyebrows when he connected the dots at that pet name. They must be dating.

The awkwardness only multiplied when Luke sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and picked up his tank, carrying it cautiously up each step, one by one, agonizingly slow. But the two didn't even mind, in fact, they were almost going at the same pace with their arms linked and the boy with the beanie gripping the handle with his fingertips feeling every dip and curve in the wood.

"Mahogany?" The raven haired boy's thick accent matched everyone else's in this neighborhood, his lips pursing deep in thought as the hazel eyed one chuckled, "Yes, baby." He was naming what wood was carved for the banister they gripped onto, Luke realized, baby blue eyes scanning every feature around him to see where he'd figure that out but his eyes fell to their hand that held onto the wood. He slid his palm across it, then his thumb would run a slow circle over it, lastly his other four fingers would give soft taps onto it to feel its density.

His lips parted to speak, but only shut and kept on working his way up these damn steps and let his frail pale hand shake by the time he reached the turn to still keep going up the last half of the flight. His breathing was growing uneven as he looked behind him at the teen couple, "Sorry," He heaved between hitched breaths.

"You're fine." Those hazel eyes crinkled as he gave a gentle smile, the brunette's fingers still inspecting the wood with his head starting to tilt down in thought. "There's someone in front of us?" He piped up lowly, a bit confused as he stayed staring at the floor. The arm wrapped around his tightened and the other boy hummed, "Yes, Cal."

Cal. Luke registered the name in his mind for future purposes.

"He's. . .limited with his senses." The dirty blonde explained in a hushed tone to Luke, the man beside him shaking his head and lifting his hand off the banister to adjust his beanie. "Just say I'm blind, babe. It's not rocket science."

The one beside him rolled his eyes. Luke's lips mustering a nervous half smile, not sure if he should find any of this as endearing as he thinks it is.

"I'm Luke." He held out a clammy hand only to realize his mistake and push it back down to his side, he can't see him gesture. God, he's never met someone blind, let alone one who relies on his boyfriend to guide him. What happened to the white cane most of them use to walk around?

Bringing an abrupt hand back down to search for the banister the blind boy spoke, "I'm Calum, this is Ashton." His arm tugged the dimpled boy closer to his side. Their full names were filed into one another's minds as he gave a curt nod and then headed to bounce up another stair with his tank, journeying up the many other ones while hearing the two behind him whisper to each other about anything Calum was trying to decipher, he correctly named what material Ashton's shirt was, the scents in his cologne, and with a couple guesses he made out the color of the walls (beige).

By the time Luke heard him start going on a tangent about any clues for his abilities and such he had peaked at the last step, now on the second floor with a rapid thumping heart in his ribs while he clutched a hand over where it lies he spotted a door marked with the same flyer his mother had on his island, the clock on the wall read 9:04 am. He's four minutes late but he hopes they didn't start without him. Awkward interruptions aren't his favorite.

"Wait!" A hushed voice whisper-yelled at him from the stairs, his head whipping around almost instantly as he spotted Ashton approaching with the blind boy clinging to his side, "Are you going to the support group?" The judgement was real as Ashton's eyebrows raised in a bit of a pitiful look, his own hand getting enveloped by Calum's as they all stood in the vacant hall that smelled of coffee and dust.

"Mhm." He rocked on the heels of his feet and averted his eyes so they fell upon the wooden floor, he could feel the one pair of working eyes burning into him.

"Calum's supposed to go too but, um, we usually skip- do you wanna join? It's a lot less depressing, promise." There was a hopeful glint swimming in the boy's gentle hazel eyes, something that had Luke now exchanging emotions and he was the one feeling pity. Whether for the poor kids stuck in the support group or for the desperateness in the aussie's voice- he wasn't sure. But he definitely would rather tag along with two of the friendliest misfits he's ever met in the past year.

"It's just us two and one more guy, he's not blind- thank God." The dirty blonde curls bounced as he dramatically threw his head back and groaned, still pining for a yes although if he stopped talking he'd get one from Luke.

"I'm blind not deaf." Calum's persistent remark had the blonde jumping in at his opportunity of speaking for himself.

"I'll join." He whispered, voice a bit too excited but he cleared his throat and puffed a hearty breath from his chest. "Lead the way."

He really shouldn't have stifled a laugh when Calum started to navigate his way down the halls without any help from Ashton, apparently they had been trying this out recently where he doesn't depend on his boyfriend too much for traveling in unfamiliar places and by the looks of it, it's not going as well as they had hoped.

"You're not trying." The boyfriend huffed from where he stood in a synchronized slow stride with Luke, the two watching in amusement as Calum's hands raised in anger, he was facing a wall dead on and attempting to convince them that he swears the door was there the last time they were here. With a scoff, he raised his voice, "Oh, yeah let me just _try_ to see with my fucked up eyes- what's next? Make someone paralyzed just _try_ to walk- god dammit, fuck me in the ass." His rant fell short as he tripped on his own foot turning but luckily caught himself before he face-planted.

Luke's smile rose wider as Ashton only chuckled on the sidelines of this scene, hands holding his stomach as he shook his head. "Babe, just let me help-"

"I don't need help! I found the door last week, I can do it again." Despite the brunette's passionate protest he was guided with a familiar pair of hands on his shoulder's turning him one hundred and eighty degrees as the realization struck in his parted lips that he had the hallway flipped and thought the door was on the left but it was on the right. So close. He sighed.

Nonetheless, the blind boy twisted the doorknob and flung the wooden door open with a grand entrance of, "Did you miss me?" To the lone teen eyeing the group with the utmost unamused look, pale complexion just a shade lighter than Luke's own as his face showed more curves than defined bone structure except for the apples in his cheeks that popped when he smirked at his friends.

"About time, I was worried you two were caught fucking behind the bookshelves again and I'd have to bribe the librarian to let you off with a warning." He recalled the incident like it was yesterday, and the blonde wouldn't've been surprised if it did happen yesterday because it nearly occurred today if it weren't for his slow ass ascending the stairs and stopping their intimate kisses.

They all scrambled into the room and Luke clutched the door frame to gain his regular breathing again, fatigue striking as he watched Calum scramble to try and give the unnamed boy who stood up from the floor a hug, but he only kept on moving out of his embrace to joke around. Backing up or sliding left or right to make him annoyed until Calum's eyebrows scrunched behind his shades in anger.

"Fine, no hugs for you." He told him arrogantly, pointing behind him in the opposite side of the room that Luke wasn't in, his index finger angled towards the left corner but the blonde was catching his breath at the doorway in the center.

"We brought a boy, Luke, he sounds like a ginger."

"I'm blonde." Luke corrected under his shaky breath, holding a hand over where his rapid heart thumped.

"Blue eyes?" Calum inquired, speaking to the floor, a habit he has when he tries to think about his descriptions. Luke's head bobbed in a nod only to realize he couldn't see him answer so he gave a soft response, "Yeah."

His crystalline eyes, as Calum so-nicknamed them soon after finding out the color, took in the very cozy room with a deep oak floor and boards of wood on the ceiling as warm lights nailed to the walls in antique rustic lanterns as the lightbulbs inside glowed in the room, shelves on the left and right sides all stacked with old books as the wall facing the parking lot stayed barren minus the two windows looking into the world outside. Folded chairs were laid out across the room as Ashton graciously levered Calum down onto one only to place himself on the boy's lap afterwords.

"You can take my chair, you need it." The comment, although unnecessary, was still spoken from this green haired boy's pink lips, all of his attire fairly similar to Luke's own as they both wore skinny jeans but his had rips in the knees while the blonde's stayed plain. Luke had on his favorite grey sweater that's comfier than most of his clothes (partially because it's twice as big and falls to mid-thigh) while Michael wore a tee displaying the logo for some stereotypical classic rock band but Luke didn't take the time to stop and look because he snatched up that seat without hesitation and felt his whole body relax the second he sat down.

"Cute nose tubes." Those pale green eyes drilled into the blonde's oxygen contraption with a bit of a teasing tone. A pang of fear dropping in his stomach as Luke thought they were taunting him for needing one only for the boy to speak up again, "My cousin used one, she had the same condition as that Hazel girl in the cliché movie, uh," The boy snapped his fingers to speed up his train of thought at what he was hoping to remember but the shy blonde beat him to it.

"The Fault In Our Stars." Luke answered with a flat tone, slumping in his chair as the boy nodded in triumph, "Yeah, that one. What cancer did she have? Breast, pancreatic, bone-"

"Lung." The word felt dry in Luke's mouth as he grimaced. He hated talking about his own type of cancer, especially when it turns empathetic and someone else brings up how they knew somebody else who had it at one point, how they overcame it and he can too, how they died and he can too. He's heard it all.

"My cousin who had it actually died, in her sleep, her lungs just sort of stopped completely and the battery in her oxygen tubes died."

"Michael, don't." Ashton warned strictly to the boy with a name now, their green eyes fighting from across the room through irritated stares. The only boy standing in the room started to unfold a chair and shrugged, pretending not to know what his friend was pestering him about.

"I'm not implying that he'll die like that, calm your dick."

"My dick is calm."

"Mine isn't." Calum commented, shifting in his chair to prove his point.

Luke's hands fell to his sweater and played with a loose thread in the background. He doesn't remember friends being so inappropriate but then again his last friend was a while back and they weren't exactly as exposed to unholy things. Having very little experience with bonding or making friends was weird for him at the moment, on one side he had a boy interrogating him and the other is currently talking about his genitalia's stability.

"Babe," Ashton blushed relaxing against the blind boy's chest as he let him rake his teeth over what could only be described as the weak spot in this boy's neck since his immediate response was to hitch his breathing into a sharp gasp and squirm.

"I'd like to see you two go one day without fucking in front of me." Michael's lips snarled blatantly at the couple, not using a filter with his cursing as his body slumped into the folded chair he laid out, green eyes burning daggers as the two didn't even respond. Ashton adjusting in the seat so he straddled Calum who was roughly kneading the boy's ass as they kissed.

"How is that _not_ painful?" The meek blonde boy stuck watching this whispered lowly to Michael, his face said horror but his eyes never looked away as the blind boy squeezed Ashton's ass so harshly that he could feel his butt hurt just looking at it.

"It is." Michael nodded as if he's thought the same thing, also not able to take his eyes off the scene. "Pretty sure Ashton's got a major pain kink."

Luke scrunched his nose in disgust, mind reevaluating the idea of liking pain so much it turns you on and then making a bit of a stoic face as he shrugged. It's negotiable whether or not he would like that, maybe if it was with the right guy he might reconsider.

"One time I brought earplugs, Ashton's very-" His sentence cut short as the curly blonde across the room moaned into a heated kiss full of biting and teeth. "Verbal." Michael finished.

"I can tell." Luke's lips curved, smiling over at him as he took another moment to stare intently on the boy beside him. He doesn't look dreadfully sick like he, himself, does. There's no pale green or yellow tint to his skin (although he's a bit pink in some places) and he doesn't need any machine or monitor for his health- he seems fine.

"Are you from the support group?" He quipped up randomly, not realizing he ended their conversation short and chastised himself in his head for ruining the boy's humor since his smile immediately dropped. Drawling on the question as the suspense rose and his murky green eyes fell to his hands and nervously toyed with his bracelets. Luke's eyes nearly popping out of their sockets when he saw that Michael was playing with a hospital bracelet, it's white band immediately recognized by the boy, it's plastic tag popping out as it had a thick line of orange on it.

"Yeah." He stated softly, still refusing to meet the blonde's eyes. "It's just, not my favorite thing, I guess. I never liked going so I skipped and met them," His head nodded to the two sharing a chair, "We sort of bonded together despite the differences- Calum's blind, Ashton's just fine, and I'm. . ." The boy paused.

"You're?" Luke dragged on the question, body leaning closer in fascination at the way he could see Michael in front of him switch personas drastically.

"Have you ever heard of Leukemia?" The word was foreign to the blonde's mind but he knew well enough to remember it's an illness, nevertheless he shook his head with a bit of a lost look. Big, wide, doe eyes blinking at the green ones averting from his. "I was diagnosed with it eight months ago, Acute Myeloid Leukemia, one of the rarest forms of cancer, not the best way to start a new year, in my opinion." It's August, Luke recalled, the boy found out around new year's and he felt his heart ache at the idea, he found out about his own in late November.

"My white blood cells are just fucked, basically. There's too many in my bones and it screws with the normal red blood cells." His head fell down as he shook his head not entirely comfortable with talking about this. "It's so stupid. No one except my great grandmother has ever had this and of course, me, out of every offspring since her gets stuck with it. What sucks is that she died from it, so that's assuring." He threw a hand around to express his anger as he spat out his thoughts that by the sound of it, aren't said often. Michael's lividity was just laced in his voice as he gave this sad smile while he explained it, talking to the ceiling as he kept his thumb and index finger to run over the bracelet clipped on his wrist soothingly.

"I understand." Luke stated quietly, eyes drawn to the boy as he instantly let his head fall down and meet those big baby blue eyes. "The cancer never showed up in my family, but somehow it made itself clear by hurting my lung in the middle of class and as if it wasn't bad already I stood up during the exam we were all taking and tried to make my way to the teacher's desk but the aisle felt so cramped and she seemed so far and my eyes just couldn't seem to focus and I blacked out. My parents told me I fainted and the class panicked- they panicked, yet I was the one with a screwed up lung."

"And then they feel bad," Michael explained with a shake of his head and a cocky smile, the two understanding how it feels with every word spoken. "I hated the get better cards that my classmates made as, like, art projects and shit."

"The flowers were my least favorite." The blonde joined in, recalling the various bouquets his nurses and aids would switch in and out of the vase beside him but he only plucked the petals off of them and watched them slowly fall apart and wilt just like him.

Michael's green eyes met his, "Did you ever get one of those teddy bears? My aunt gave me a new one every week and I couldn't stand it." Luke's laugh flew through the boy's ears and the blonde stopped himself halfway through, head lowering shyly as he blushed. "Sorry."

He never laughs anymore. Not that buoyantly and jaunty, it's odd and it caught him off guard.

The green haired boy beside him gave a smile, "Your laugh's nice." He defended. "Could cure cancer." Michael added on just in time to see Luke's bottom lip go between his teeth to stop his smile but it broke onto his face anyway.


	2. Shared Aspirations and Family Complications

Two whole hours couldn't have felt more elating than these three new friends made it out to be, Luke almost wanted more time with them and that was saying a lot considering he usually gets bored with someone new within minutes and yet here he sits, laughing and smiling as if he never was down before.

The group, as a whole, seemed a lot more complete with a fourth addition, and overall they welcomed him with wide open arms and they never made him feel excluded. If there was an inside joke he's never heard, Ashton would tell him the backstory behind it so he was in on it, Michael even taught him how to manipulate Calum (one of his favorite things, he informed the blonde).

It was almost a fun game of mischievous child-like hide and seek, they'd all stand as still as they can manage somewhere in the room and Ashton spins Calum in a couple circles before letting him attempt to find the other two who can move around as freely as possible, he'd get aggravated, curse a lot, but yet when he'd finally find either Luke or Michael he'd cheer victoriously nonetheless.

Despite their joyous moments and silly fits of giggles about failed make out sessions that Ashton and Calum have had in the past, they somehow wound up learning more and more things about each other, gushing in a circle while they spilled quiet comments about their lives and how they feel about who they are. All of the sentimental shit that most people feel nervous sharing to a brand new friend was almost the easiest things they managed to do. It didn't even feel like they just met an hour prior, Luke was comfortable around them in one of the most blissful ways.

"I lost my sight when I was sixteen, so, two-ish years ago." Calum explained, his hands running over the jeans he wore to wipe off any sweat on his clammy hands, "It was one of those domino effects, it just got worse and worse until I woke up and couldn't see anything." His eyebrows scrunched together, knitting in the middle of his forehead as he didn't notice the instant grief that washed over Ashton, the curly haired teen only reaching out from beside him and resting a hand over the much bigger one belonging to Calum.

"I only had Ashton as a friend until we stumbled upon Michael, who didn't feel at all sympathetic for me which was nice, believe it or not. Sympathy makes me feel like shit, no one even cares but they pretend to and it only lets the fact I'm more impaired than them sink in and just twist the knife a little more."

A pair of baby blue eyes flickered to the boy referenced in Calum's story, the green haired teen across the room from the blind one only nodding slowly despite him not seeing. His murky but golden green eyes shifting to Luke at the feeling of eyes on him, their gazes locking in as Ashton's sweet nothings towards his moping boyfriend drowned out and left their minds completely.

The two were just wordlessly communicating, Luke pouted and Michael gave a quirk of his eyebrow in response, the blonde would purse his lips so his dimples showed and Michael gave a sarcastic eye roll, those blue eyes would roll back with more exaggeration and they would just smile at each other until the conversation fell back into their ears and they each faced a mumbling Ashton trying to cheer up the ill-tempered boy beside him.

"You're so strong, Cal, don't put yourself down. It's not your fault you lost your sight." The boyfriend's hand propped the other's chin up so he could get the raven haired lad to face him, eyes still guarded by sunglasses while the dirty blonde next to him pecked his lips repeatedly to try and get a smile to break out on their face once again. Resting his forehead on his as Ashton cupped their face to refuse the brunette from looking down. "I love you, I love you even without your sight." He proclaimed to the boy with wide hazel eyes just luring him to try and smile as he only got a pout.

"Does this happen a lot?" The blonde boy off on the sidelines shot a low whisper Michael's way, never stopping the gaze he had on the couple. It seemed like a routine, he's saying all the right things there's no way he can just say the perfect things and not have rehearsed this or memorized it before.

"Nope, this is foreign to me, too." The green haired teen was stopped by his phone buzzing, as he fished his iPhone from his pocket he watched as Luke reiterated what was said to him and now scrunched his eyebrows together at the couple, Calum's incessant shake of his head to whatever sweet nothings his significant other would say had the two boys concerned. Why is he doubting anything Ashton tells him?

They continued just sitting and watching the gentle exchanges where the two boys would exchange kisses until the brunette started to muster up something similar to a smile. A constant hum whenever their lips touched carried throughout the room and if it wasn't cute already, they whispered I love you's.

"So, tell us about you, blondie." Michael was texting someone on his phone as he called out the newbie in this circle of friends, not hearing a response he peeked his head up to meet a stare with an aghast Luke, lips parted unsurely, and thumbs fumbling in his lap as his feet scuffed together and made his vans dirty and wore them down but he couldn't care less right now.

"I thought I did?" He remarked under his breath, shooting a worried stare at Michael who gave a smug smirk in response, almost testing him as he gave a knowing gaze his way. "Not quite, you gave me your cancer story- that's for pity and sympathy, which Calum is ranking number one in pity points. Tell us about you. Not your illness." The clarification made the blonde immediately slump in his seat, feeling smaller by the second. He doesn't know much about himself.

It seems preposterous to be unsure about who you are and what you like but truth be told Luke is just boring. His life consists of sitting in his house and watching shitty rom-coms, maybe he'll pick up a book or two if he's feeling adventurous, and then he eats and sleeps. In between all of that it's taking seven prescriptions twice a day and going to the hospital every few months to get checked up with MRI's and such. The most time consuming thing he does is stress over his cancer, he doesn't have a life outside of it.

When Luke realized they were all waiting on him he choked, mustering up something blunt to just get the attention off of him. "I just like watching tv and reading." Leaving out anything about the numerous cliches he has recorded on the DVR he shrugged, "That's about it."

"Come on! Dig deep, what's your biggest fear?" A hand fell onto Luke's thigh and almost instantaneously his entire body froze at the comforting hand with a tattoo on the middle finger, Michael's. He nearly passed out from shock and only gushed out his first thought, unaware of how dark it got soon after. "Dying." He whispered it softly, almost to himself.

Calum and Ashton both sat shocked at his words, the very touchy subject hitting all of them deep in their chests seeing him get so depressing. For a moment, he thought this was the end, they'd drop him from the group because he was a downer and lacked all the optimism most of these boys had. He wasn't even joking about his answer and they all knew that death is one of the most inevitable things that is bound to happen to each and everyone of them.

He blinked, hard and fast. Unable to get the flash of seventeen percent out of his mind before he had a much calmer voice drawling him out of that crevice of fear.

"Okay," Michael slowly let his hand fall back to his side, "That's valid." He folded both arms across his chest, feet crossing at the ankles and leaned back in his folded chair. "Petrifying, but valid." The other two boys still stayed quiet. Luke's eyes turning to the others for some sort of comfort. He was lost and unsure of what to do now. So were they.

Luckily, the blind boy let out a huff and pushed his shades up his nose some more, then spoke in his most soothing tone possible. "How about your biggest dream?" His recommendation had smiles from the group, all except for the boy who got asked that since he can't think for shit and once again found himself at a loss for words.

He never even considered having hopes and dreams, those weren't very promising in his opinion and all they did was create high expectations for his low expectation life. Nothing about his dreams screamed reaching above all or inspirational. All he ever dreams of is being able to wake up the next day when he falls asleep. That's it.

"Easy, be cancer free." He's not trying to be a sap, he's not trying to earn pity points as mentioned earlier. All Luke is doing is telling them the truth because he's not one to lie. Even in past events his parents have scolded him for being brutally honest, especially around strangers. It was a bad trait to have according to them but he didn't care, his honesty was so much better compared to lying through his teeth.

"Damn." Calum whispered, a new aura set among the group as the tension pent up further and they all could feel the way the mood switched in seconds, the only one willing to break it was the green eyed boy beside the blonde.

"What stage are you?" He asked hesitantly, uncertain if he stated this before but still quipped the question nonetheless. He wants to see if he's at a low stage or a risky one, the higher the number the worse the cancer and the less of a chance to overcome it.

The answer was choked out, "Stage three." It felt dry on his tongue, finding himself swallowing thickly to try and level out his emotions but the knot in his throat prevented such a thing. That's only two away from the worst stage, he's not getting better and everyone knows that. At this point even he's given up on beating it, the only people truly trying to help are his parents who give him constant care.

They all sat quiet, a new uncomfortable silence putting them all into separate knowing states that they can't even root for him at this point, they expected him to just be in the first or second stage, he hasn't even had the cancer for a year.

"Yikes." Calum broke the silence, getting up from his chair as he nearly tripped on the side of his chair but stayed stable, "I'm hungry, who wants food?" He navigated his way towards the door correctly for once and waited for the other three boys to stand but Luke was taking a while, he wasn't entirely sure of leaving the library at all. His mum already has five heart attacks a day worrying about him, if she comes to pick him up and he's not out there waiting she'll go into cardiac arrest.

"Come on, Luke, there's sixty minutes to spare and a great diner down the road." Luke knows the diner, he and his friends used to go after the school footie games, chewing on his bottom lip he debated what to do. He might risk seeing his classmates there, and if he's here late his mum will actually worry more than intended. He needs to at least have some more cheerfulness and less depressing moments with these guys and if he wants friends this is what it's going to take. He'll text his mum, she'll be ecstatic at the fact he's hanging out with people.

Walking closer to them he fell in synch with Michael's steady pace, they were venturing back down those agonizingly steep stairs that only put them behind on time because of the two boys who have trouble walking up and down them, but Ashton and Michael each partnered up and helped the boys out. Michael even held Luke's cannula, which sounds lame but he was overly endeared by the act of random kindness.

Bringing himself to the last step and taking a couple wheezy breaths, he held onto the handle of his cannula once more and shyly thanked the boy under his breath. Calum and Ashton shared a chaste kiss from a few feet ahead of them and Ashton explained something about how he's planning on getting his boyfriend a white cane for when he can't help him around. Of course, the brunette denied any form of help that's not from his dearly beloved boyfriend of a year and a half.

"Hey," Michael nudged the blonde's side to draw him out of his curious eavesdropping, his eyebrows raised and pale face turning to look at a very nervous pair of emerald eyes. "We usually walk to the diner, if you get tired just tell me and we can stop for a bit. Not that we're very fast with Mr. No Sight over there, but just don't push yourself, alright?" He had leukemia, one of his main symptoms is fatigue and he knows how it feels to be the one friend left behind to take his time, so if Luke gets out of breath in the slightest he won't mind.

"I'm fine." The blonde huffed out a sentence but deep down he knew he'd be out of breath by the time he reaches the sidewalk outside. The diner's only a few buildings down and he can make it in one run if he just works up the strength and he most definitely will. Feeling like the weakest link he yearned to prove Michael wrong, he may be stage three and doomed for stage four soon, but this is not amateur hour. He can do it.

Surrendering slightly, the teen raised both hands mockingly, the hospital bracelet always drawing the blonde in but he never wanted to ask why he always wears it. Luke takes his off as soon as he's out of that place. It looks so pitiful, when he went out to eat unknowingly wearing it, the waitress treated him like a kid, always checking in on him to make sure he was okay and safe with his food and such.

"So," He changed subjects, just as they trekked past the librarian who was checking out a girl's stack of books. "Pity points, eh?" He was curious, how they came up with the idea and why they do it. He's never been one to point out his misery, believe it or not. His family always brought it up and that's how he tells them his sad lifestyle of just sitting and (horribly) breathing day after day. They bring it up, if they don't he's dead quiet about his struggles.

"Yeah, Calum and I always try to see who gets the most points in public. He always wins, what a prick." Michael's smile faced the floor as he shook his head at the memories, he and his friend always journeyed outside and they'd meet new strangers in supermarkets or sometimes the movies where they have to try and get more pity than the other. A fun game, horrible influences on some levels but nonetheless brings them joy at the end of the day. "I've only beaten him once, around two months ago when the fair was in town the girl running the ferris wheel totally digged me over Calum, won that round by telling her I only had a couple months left, Calum can live for as long as he pleases." He waved an unenthusiastic hand towards the boy striding in front of them trying to keep up with Ashton.

Another laugh fell past Luke's petal pink lips, "That's so weird." He pointed out as if it wasn't obvious, deep down a little worried that a couple months had passed since that, and if Michael's being serious that's a little heart wrenching to hear. He might actually die soon.

"Well, does anyone out of this friend group seem normal to you?" He embraced in his choice of friends who weren't typically the healthiest nor the most popular but they were fucking funny and they all cared about each other so what else could matter more in a friendship? They're here for one another through thick and thin and if one person was missing everything would be thrown off.

"No." Luke answered. "But I like that."

"Me too." Michael smiled, bringing his hands together only to twist his hospital bracelet around and do his routine of running the pad of his thumb over the orange line that stuck out of it indicating his cancer. The same way white indicates or corresponds to lung cancer.

Their strides grew a bit slower as they were outside, heat starting to intermix with the winter breeze that was slowly dissipating in Australia around this time of the year, summer was slowly but surely approaching and Luke was very grateful for that. Summer was a lot more exciting to him, he gets a bit happier and sometimes he finds himself in his backyard more just breathing in the air with his dreadful lungs, it's a struggle but it's worth it.

They walked in silence, Luke's free hand fumbling for his phone as he texted his mum the details about where he's going and with who so she would know. He doubts they'll be back in time for eleven.

A shuffle of his converse and Michael's combat boots were still synchronized, a squeal heard from ahead as Ashton hopped onto Calum's back for a piggy back ride, the extra weight slowing him down just enough that he was back to being a foot or so in front of them.

"Feels nice not to be third-wheeling alone," A hand brushed knuckles with the blonde's own, an accidental slip up that he wouldn't have hated if it followed through into something more. Being a bit hesitant he glanced down at their hands, he never liked his hands. They're cold and bony from the lack of muscle and oxygen however he did a strong move and intertwined their hands together on the sidewalk. The teen's forest green eyes snapped down to look at the way his pale hand was just a shade lighter than Luke's, the hand he was holding. "Oh, okay." He told the blonde who blushed feverishly, ducking his head down out of habit when he's nervous.

"Is this. . .good?" Luke's lips pursed anxiously, biting down on the inside of his cheek while he waited for a response which really shouldn't take this long. A devious head of green hair faced him and he was met with his and one side of his mouth turned up into a half smirk, flickering his gaze between their hands and the blonde boy beside him. "Yeah, really good."

Their stroll outside lasted eight strenuous minutes of Luke purely heaving and just hiding it behind a smile he had to force. Being a bit too persistent to prove the other guys wrong that he can actually make it in one go was starting to seem less and less possible as he got closer to the diner. It was nine feet away when he felt Michael's hand squeeze his and ask if he was alright, he was five feet away when the blind boy triumphantly found the door by himself and he was one foot away at the same time he let go of Michael's extremely soft hand.

The hostess had to be about thirty or fourty, her cherry red lips and big ginger hair contrasted greatly against the blue and white uniform she wore for work. Back to them, she picked up four menu's and gave a bright, generous smile.

"Just you four?" She asked the group. Ashton taking the lead on this and nodding at the same time he slid back onto the floor from Calum's back. They all shuffled into a booth, Calum and his boyfriend on one side as Michael and Luke fell onto the other. The blonde's hand instantly clutching over his ribs and wheezing discretely under his breath. All of the boys noticing as he only asked the waitress for a water and prayed she would get back soon.

The wind felt like it got knocked out of him, his one side of his ribs ached and his feet were beginning to feel numb from walking so much, at the same time a glass of water was placed on the counter his phone buzzed in his pocket, instantly fishing out the device and bringing himself to half smile at the text his mum sent back, a simple alright, be safe! that made him laugh under his breath and sip his water down to the halfway mark.

When he finally zoned into the reality of things and not just the surging anxiety he endured over how bad of a toll he took just walking. His ears picked up in the middle of a conversation, Ashton was scorning Calum for being an idiot as Michael agreed. All of their bickering coming to a halt when the blonde piped up a shaky, "What?"

Instantly, Calum's hand flung out to hit his boyfriend's bicep and explain himself. "They won't let me feel your face."

"Because it's weird!" Ashton clarified, the hazel in his eyes popping as he opened them wide to accentuate his point.

"Oh, okay, yeah. Forgot it's weird for the blind guy to try and see what his new friend looks like." He brought his hand up to Ashton's chin, propping it in order to turn the boy so they face each other, "If it weren't for my weird tendency I wouldn't remember what you look like." He brushed his thumb over Ashton's lips and then cupped both of his cheeks so he could run the pads of his thumbs under Ashton's eyes just to loop back around and trace the sides of his nose. "So beautiful." He reminisced, ducking his head down to place a caring kiss against the younger boy's lips he adored so much.

"Wow, all I got when you felt my face was just nice and you're over here getting beautiful, unfair." Michael's protesting only had Ashton's eyes crinkling while he smiled, "He always says it to me when he does it." The explanation had Luke's heart tugging and aching at the cuteness.

"I don't mind." He remembered the start of this conversation and how Calum wants to just get a feel for his face. He knew it'd be awkward but it's what the boy needs in order to actually know what he looks like because right now the only clues he has are that he's blonde and blue eyed. The rest is all just a figment in his imagination.

Being super straight forward Calum let his hands fly forward and find his way towards the blonde as he accidentally knocked Michael's shoulder and gave a groan, "Fucking can't see shit- found you." He had his hands cupped over Luke's ears as he only put his thumbs onto their temples, he then proceeded to drag his palms down the boy's cheekbones and traced around his jaw, pausing at the chin. His fingers swirled across his face to find his nose, smiling in the gentlest way when he smoothed his index finger across the bridge and down to the point at the end. A bit taken back when he felt the tubes underneath his nose but soon remembered his condition and nodded deep in thought.

"You said you had blue eyes, right?" His voice piped up full of fascination, cupping the blonde's face who gave a subtle, yet well heard "mhm" in response. Calum nodded, circling the space around the boy's eyes to try and imagine the color itself, crystalline.

"Calum it's getting awkward, you're fine." Ashton tugged the boys arms to his sides again as the waitress approached and came back with the other boys' drinks as well, Michael chose a sweetened iced tea while Calum and Ashton shared a strawberry milkshake. "You kids need a few minutes?" The woman asked the table if they were ready yet to which Michael gave a curt, "That'd be great, thanks."

The second the lady departed from their table Michael groaned, "My parents are trying to convince me to just live with my aunt again." His phone was blown up with texts that he's been ignoring for nearly half an hour now by the times it showed they came in. A distinctly collective groan of irritation emitted from the boyfriends opposite of him.

To fill in the newbie, Michael's green eyes fell onto the ocean ones beside him, "When I was first diagnosed my parents chickened out with assisting me, handed me off to my aunt for the first five months of this hell, they've been shitty at taking care of me since they took me back so they may just put me back with her again."

"Can they not just check you into a hospital?" Luke's parents do that monthly, if not weekly, there's days where they both work late and they have no one who really understand how to care for him in the family besides themselves so they just ship his wheezing ass over to the familiar cramped, uncomfortable hospital bed where nurses help him out.

Calum's head fell to his lap at that, all the other boys turning quiet and awkward under the gloomy cloud of a question he supposedly dropped on Michael, who was nervously scratching the back of his red neck. He had no idea what he did wrong, what's so terrible about getting checked into a hospital? It's what happens when you're sick you go to a doctor.

"Can't afford it anymore." The teen mumbled through his sigh, lowly speaking in a whisper before pretending to find the menu interesting. He did need to figure out what to eat. His stomach grumbled in agreement to his thoughts and he skimmed over the meals, nothing exactly popping out at him.

The blonde beside him actually had to stop himself from gasping too loud, he's never been one to strive for cash. He was lucky enough to be born into a humbly wealthy family, there was always food on the table and they don't act like his insurance costs and any of the hospital's treatments are a threat to their bank account. He never knew what it's like to just beg for his parents to get him something to help his treatment, there was no empathy that he could try to fathom towards what that's like.

"We could afford it for the first six months, then we stopped going for surgeries and I'm basically relying on my prescriptions and monthly check ups but progress is still progress." That's what his parents always told him on the daily, he may not be getting cured in such a promising haste but there's some gained hope. His life revolves around knowing that just taking pills and watching for any bad changes isn't going to cure his leukemia and he's fine by that. He knows he won't overcome this but if he dies knowing he at least gave it what he could he'd be fine.

Luke wanted to help, he could beg his parents to just pay for a surgery or just an updated prescription of meds to keep Michael here for some more time than a couple months. But he knows deep down his parents wouldn't agree. They're not selfless towards others the same way he is.

"I'm sorry." He whispered softly, not sure what else to say. The forest colored eyes blinked, his smile that of an angel's, "Don't be, you didn't do anything." His lips pursed, "It's not gonna impact you if my prescription isn't strong enough."

They just met. Today. An hour and a half ago. But they're still the closest friends he's ever had, he can sense it, the way they treat is like he's not this depressed dying teen that lives off of shitty lungs is something rare. He found people who see him (or don't see him at all) as more than the 'cancer' kid in this town.

"I think it would." Luke managed to speak with a comforting tone, his eyes on the verge of meeting Michael's if it weren't for the boy's hesitancy in doing so. The table fell quiet. "I haven't had friends in months, I forgot what it felt like to not be so alone." Calum's smile was unable to be held back by the time he finished that sentence, a ripple effect starting with that brunette that carried onto the boy to his left who leaned his head onto the blind one's shoulder just to give a tight lipped smile across the table, the smile then breaking onto Michael's porcelain cheeks.

Luke grinned, pushing past the wave of pain he experienced in his left rib and only let out a huff of a laugh. Unbelievably happy, for the first time in ages, he could smile a smile that's not forced.

They all ordered their meals and ate, sharing laughs but overall, they grew closer in the way that throughout every conversation they each learned more about the people around the table. Michael let the boy beside him hold his hand under the table, and just like he does with his hospital bracelet his traced his thumb over the top of the blonde's hand, soothing himself and the same boy in the process.

Calum took the beanie off of his head because Ashton wanted to play with his hair, twirling the boy's deep raven curls that he said smelled like jasmine and always kissed the top of while they were in between conversations. Luke wanted that, so bad. They were inseparable and they showed each other the affection that neither thought they deserved.

"I can drive you home, but sleeping over isn't an option, mum wants me home more." The dirty blonde kissed Calum's cheek as they finished the paying portion and could stand up to leave. "We were gonna make out and watch movies, primarily the first option, but still." The blind boy frowned as he stood on his two feet, fishing for his beanie on the table just so he could slide it back on his head.

"Don't wait for us, I wanna be with Luke, just me and him." Michael squeezed their hands under the table, getting a thumbs up from the maori who exited with a sigh, muttering something about the next meeting and how they both better be there. The words made him instantly flush deeply and his stomach erupted into flips and his heart, it's beat was thundering through his ribs until he felt it between their hands, pounding a steady drum rhythm.

Luke could feel his hand clam up the second the two in a relationship shut the diner door and went their way down the concrete sidewalk leisurely. Those crystalline blue eyes watching them stroll further into the distance until Michael's voice spoke in an assuring tone.

"Thanks for showing up," He gave another gentle stroke of his thumb on the boy's skin, "People don't really like skipping the therapy to hang out with complete loners like Calum, or Ashton, or me." The green haired boy dropped his head so he could gaze at their hands, "It means a lot. We only have each other, really. Everyone else flees, I hope you stay."

Luke couldn't get the therapy meeting out of his head from where he sat at the dinner table, all of his many choices of vegetables and other necessities to have in his diet all poured onto his plate but he just can't focus on nutrition or whatever his parents are discussing when his brain is replaying his friends' conversations.

He made friends. Which is so easy for most people but he would've never guessed this would work out so well and so right. He avoided the confrontation of the actual meeting and hung out with actually interesting and humorous people with the same self deprecating humor. An odd quality, but he was happy he found teens that care about him and whom he cares about also.

"What's on your mind? You haven't stopped smiling at the ziti on your plate for five minutes and I know it's not your favorite." His mother pulled him back into reality, the correction inferring over pasta making him blush and shake his head. He doesn't know how to explain how today went, only giving a sincere smile, "I made friends today." The table grew into a hushed silence, his father stopped chewing the food in his mouth while the glass of water once moving towards his mother's lips stopped halfway.

"That's. . .nice." His mum settled on the most normal, calm sentence. She wasn't sure what to think of this, "What's wrong with them?" Her voice didn't even waver with any fear or hesitation- only taking a sip of the water in her glass as she met her son's critical stare.

"There's nothing wrong with them," He clarified through a snarky tone, "They have illnesses but that doesn't make them defected, mum." He felt disgusted at her way of wondering out loud. She probably didn't mean much of the question but it still struck deep because if she calls them wrong what might she be calling him? He's no freak of nature, he just got a little bit of a glitch in the system that made him change. His cancer does not make him wrong.

"And if it so pleases you to know, Calum's blind, Michael's diagnosed with leukemia, and Ashton's there to aid to Calum." He put some ziti on his fork and chewed, the parents at the table both falling quiet and trying not to push his buttons any further. He felt remorse, guilt-tripping himself into saying something in a much lighter tone. "They're nice. I like them." He hadn't really wanted to spill too much of this onto them at once, unsure of how to really communicate it to them that he definitely doesn't want to lose any of them. The memory of Michael's hospital situation, or lack thereof, his words falling off his lips before he speaks.

"I wanna help Michael." He stayed slumped in his seat, refraining himself from broadening his stature or yelling at them, "He can't afford any surgeries and I think it'd be really nice to-"

"You just met him, sweetie." His mum didn't even allow the boy to explain himself or mutter out a simple plan. Her glass clinked back onto the wooden dining table, "I know you're selfless and all but we can't just throw our money onto some random kid, Luke. We spend enough on you, another expense would be risky."

"I didn't know I was a burden." Luke frowned, letting his fork fall onto his plate and leaned back in his chair uncomfortably, itching his nose as he huffed. They were really not helping themselves get the upper hand, they barely even thought through what they just told him.

Her lips pulled down into a frown, "That's not what I meant." Liz gave a persistent sigh, "You're not a burden, it's just the idea of another expense for surgery towards someone we don't know is a burden."

But at the end of the day, Luke knew he definitely was their burden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy easter, here's an update!! feel free to discuss my story with me on tumblr (malumaffairs) and leave me some cool comments and kudos!!

**Author's Note:**

> i started another clem au..........oops? feel free to talk to me on tumblr about my works ( malumaffairs ) and leave some thoughts and kudos!


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